Comments on: The ability to trust with DID in therapy and in real life http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/the-ability-to-trust-with-did-in-therapy-and-in-real-life/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:53:07 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Comment: Importance of Physical Environment in Therapy « Emily First Girl: ………….DID ……….Multiplicity http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/the-ability-to-trust-with-did-in-therapy-and-in-real-life/#comment-1682 Comment: Importance of Physical Environment in Therapy « Emily First Girl: ………….DID ……….Multiplicity Tue, 14 Oct 2008 02:00:36 +0000 http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/?p=92#comment-1682 [...] therapy room itself was part of the problem (but not the primary reason I left).  I wrote about therapy, safety and trust a while [...] [...] therapy room itself was part of the problem (but not the primary reason I left).  I wrote about therapy, safety and trust a while [...]

]]> By: emilylonelygirl http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/the-ability-to-trust-with-did-in-therapy-and-in-real-life/#comment-223 emilylonelygirl Thu, 12 Jun 2008 23:14:11 +0000 http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/?p=92#comment-223 uz4camelot Yes, trust is so big! Interestingly, when I kept telling my old therapist that I wanted to regain the trust and could she help me, it was interesting that she actually told me the main issue is safety - I felt safe in her office. I think those are two different things. She focused only on safety, which I found strange. Anyway, to your comment. Yes, I love that Gudrun Frerich's focuses on Hope as the first step - that we are invested in getting better. No one else has said that. It is also wonderful that you have faith and also affirmations to help with the bad times. I carry a little notebook with me all the time with little sayings, affirmations, words from friends, and drawings. I am happy to hear that therapy is going well and that you recognize and embrace the hope and trust thing. Thanks for visiting and commenting! uz4camelot

Yes, trust is so big! Interestingly, when I kept telling my old therapist that I wanted to regain the trust and could she help me, it was interesting that she actually told me the main issue is safety – I felt safe in her office. I think those are two different things. She focused only on safety, which I found strange.

Anyway, to your comment. Yes, I love that Gudrun Frerich’s focuses on Hope as the first step – that we are invested in getting better. No one else has said that.

It is also wonderful that you have faith and also affirmations to help with the bad times. I carry a little notebook with me all the time with little sayings, affirmations, words from friends, and drawings.

I am happy to hear that therapy is going well and that you recognize and embrace the hope and trust thing.

Thanks for visiting and commenting!

]]> By: uz4camelot http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/the-ability-to-trust-with-did-in-therapy-and-in-real-life/#comment-222 uz4camelot Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:35:53 +0000 http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/?p=92#comment-222 Hi Emily, I can relate to alot of what you have spoken about here. I got this link from Gudrun's site. Trust is a major. I think that it is an ongoing process though. Like I don't think that you just find how to trust and then you have it. I think as we let ourselves trusts (as hosts) we teach inside parts to trust also. Also, each time we let ourselves trust it will become easier. Just like they say with having positive affirmations around the place helps you to start believing that things can become more positive. My higher power is Jesus and I have the faith (head knowledge) which is very different to trust I have found. So because feelings and emotions can be so spamodic and irrational I try more to rely more on what I know. Like I know why I believe in this higher power and I believe in what He promises but if I keep relying on how I feel I often lose the plot and think oh well, this isn't working and I can't trust so I'll try and give it up. But then all of a sudden something miraculous will happen when I have just about given up and it pulls me back in. The same happens with my therapist, although we have only been in therapy for 6 months, I have know her for longer. But that didn't make me automatically trust her or make the trust any easier. I will start thinking oh I have made a mistake in coming to this therapist and then we will have a breakthrough in a session, maybe only tiny but it pulls me back in. So I guess what I am saying.... as Gudrun says there is hope in us and thats why we go to therapy. So I hold onto that hope and just keep building on the smidgen of trust and hope that it will keep building. I know deep down it will.... but I also have to let it happen and not fight it. (Also, goes along like this for trusting the process too.... thats what I reckon) Thankyou for your post. I found it informative and really good to read - knowing that its not only my problem but others have the same struggle. I do know a couple that have gotten to the end. So there is that hope too. That there is an end. Just gotta work for it. Hi Emily, I can relate to alot of what you have spoken about here. I got this link from Gudrun’s site. Trust is a major. I think that it is an ongoing process though. Like I don’t think that you just find how to trust and then you have it. I think as we let ourselves trusts (as hosts) we teach inside parts to trust also. Also, each time we let ourselves trust it will become easier. Just like they say with having positive affirmations around the place helps you to start believing that things can become more positive. My higher power is Jesus and I have the faith (head knowledge) which is very different to trust I have found. So because feelings and emotions can be so spamodic and irrational I try more to rely more on what I know. Like I know why I believe in this higher power and I believe in what He promises but if I keep relying on how I feel I often lose the plot and think oh well, this isn’t working and I can’t trust so I’ll try and give it up. But then all of a sudden something miraculous will happen when I have just about given up and it pulls me back in. The same happens with my therapist, although we have only been in therapy for 6 months, I have know her for longer. But that didn’t make me automatically trust her or make the trust any easier. I will start thinking oh I have made a mistake in coming to this therapist and then we will have a breakthrough in a session, maybe only tiny but it pulls me back in. So I guess what I am saying…. as Gudrun says there is hope in us and thats why we go to therapy. So I hold onto that hope and just keep building on the smidgen of trust and hope that it will keep building. I know deep down it will…. but I also have to let it happen and not fight it. (Also, goes along like this for trusting the process too…. thats what I reckon)
Thankyou for your post. I found it informative and really good to read – knowing that its not only my problem but others have the same struggle. I do know a couple that have gotten to the end. So there is that hope too. That there is an end. Just gotta work for it.

]]> By: emilylonelygirl http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/the-ability-to-trust-with-did-in-therapy-and-in-real-life/#comment-207 emilylonelygirl Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:54:59 +0000 http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/?p=92#comment-207 No. My therapist is more interested in being "offended" at my asking the questions I need answers to in order to reestablish trust. While I did ask pointed questions about her training, none of my close friends and family think the questions were out of line. But she interpreted them as me questioning her competence. One friend said, "if I had cancer, damn sure I'd ask about qualifications...why should this be any different?" And since I had also commented about a different way to handle me when I was severely depressed, my suggestion added to the "competence" issues. So, she lashed out at me, accusing me of "picking a fight" with her. She refused to back down, and then attributed all the problems in my relationship with my friends and family to this "picking a fight" thing that I apparently do to justify my anger. And that my anger is the issue. Again, I asked friends and family - do I pick fights? All universally said "no" - no evidence that I have ever done that. But all agreed that I *do* REACT to anger and threats, sometimes even the littlest things can set me off. And I totally agree with that. But I am not the one who starts it. So no, during the entire 90 minute session, we did not address trust at all. My "action plan" is to interview other therapists. No. My therapist is more interested in being “offended” at my asking the questions I need answers to in order to reestablish trust. While I did ask pointed questions about her training, none of my close friends and family think the questions were out of line. But she interpreted them as me questioning her competence. One friend said, “if I had cancer, damn sure I’d ask about qualifications…why should this be any different?”

And since I had also commented about a different way to handle me when I was severely depressed, my suggestion added to the “competence” issues. So, she lashed out at me, accusing me of “picking a fight” with her. She refused to back down, and then attributed all the problems in my relationship with my friends and family to this “picking a fight” thing that I apparently do to justify my anger. And that my anger is the issue.

Again, I asked friends and family – do I pick fights? All universally said “no” – no evidence that I have ever done that. But all agreed that I *do* REACT to anger and threats, sometimes even the littlest things can set me off. And I totally agree with that. But I am not the one who starts it.

So no, during the entire 90 minute session, we did not address trust at all.

My “action plan” is to interview other therapists.

]]> By: thomas mann http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/the-ability-to-trust-with-did-in-therapy-and-in-real-life/#comment-204 thomas mann Sun, 08 Jun 2008 19:57:13 +0000 http://emilyfirstgirl.wordpress.com/?p=92#comment-204 Repairing or establishing trust seems to be a cornerstone for therapy. Has your therapist addressed this specifically? Is there an 'action plan for trust?" Repairing or establishing trust seems to be a cornerstone for therapy. Has your therapist addressed this specifically? Is there an ‘action plan for trust?”

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