Hi BTC! Yeah, I have been quiet. Job search still going on and a lot of family stuff. Still with the new therapist and she is GREAT so I am “ok” and still actually making progress. You will understand this…as well as many others here…I have had to put my work and energy into this blog on hold. Why? Because I have to get a job with some significant urgency now and have been working full time on it. My engineer, very Type A and proud – who has been on a mission to Get A Job. Her goal in life to prove that no challenge is beyond her. (I am squashing editorial comments now ) So, I have not had much chance to do this. Quite literally, it has not been the “center’s” blog. I have been able to run over here for an evening and catch up and am taking the time I can get! *I*/Cami with Emily’s push feel the responsibility to be over here more often, but *I*/Kate don’t feel the sense of obligation. I have had some good news recently and have been able to relax the reins, so to speak, and am able to be here.

I feel very good that you checked in on me – support systems are so important, and I value the one that I have here in all of you!!!

Hi Elysium3006

Wow – a tough phase that you are going through. I understand it as well – I have felt like this is all not real and I can run away from it, but other times it smacks me in the face. I would not try to diagnose yourself, or even to be so concerned with what the actual diagnosis is. What you experience is what you experience. Please see the therapist – I was scared of that as well, and also of even going week to week sometimes. But I always leave with a sense of relief and a plan for the next week or days. Try not to get afraid of therapy – they are there to help you, but I know the fear! But hear this – if you do not feel comfortable with the therapy, GET ANOTHER ONE! My first was good for a while, but I had to switch when my therapy needs changed. Don’t be afraid to listen to your inner feelings about what is good for you.

About “I want to know?I don’t want to know.” Try to rid yourself of the name of the DX. If your therapist has experience in the area, in my opinion, your initial DX is not as relevant as what you experience every day. That is what therapy is about – your daily life. How to understand yourself and others – how to work on the things that trouble you. In doing this, your DX is secondary – in my experience, it is a consideration but not something that permanently decides the path of your therapy. I honestly thought I would be DDNOS what it is technically DID. That was a surprise, but not really relevant to my therapy sessions. So try not to worry about that – it is most important that you are talking to someone!!!

No, you are not flaming. You are talking about things that are important and very relevant to your life. Actually, think of it this way – you just wrote a lot of personal stuff to me, a complete stranger, but one who understands what you are going through. You also just shared with many other people who read this blog. No one has attacked you, or suggested that the feelings you have are wrong or you are a “stupid crazy bitch.” Please take your courage at writing here to your therapist. In fact, why don’t you print out your comment, and my response if you want to, and just take that to your therapist to read. It is very hard to trust someone face to face rather than on the anonymous internet, but everything you wrote is good stuff to be shared. Please do it.

My best
Cami/Emily