Archive for April, 2008

Dear Ms. DID: Does Altercide, suicide of an alter, kill the entire system?

We know the definition – taking your own life. Some of us understand this terrible state of mind and the internal war accompanying the decision.

This is not an essay on suicide prevention, but an exploration into its relationship to DID.

So I wondered, are those with DID more prone to suicide? If so, why?

I have read that some alters within a system may be suicidal. Are these alters capable of making the decision for the entire system? Would the system let them?

So, it is possible that one alter can “commit suicide” while leaving the others intact? Is killing another alter considered homicide?

And if so, are these alters aware that their suicide/homicide will affect the entire system?

Interesting questions.

Read the rest of this entry »

Advertisements

Hi. My name is Coping Mechanism.

<I like carets. It’s usually me who gets relegated to them.>

<Probably because I provide the witty sarcasm.>

<I’m tempted to write this whole post in carets.> <<But then how can anyone else interject?>>

Sigh. Fine.

*I*, in my wonder and glory, am a COPING MECHANISM.

How would you like to meet someone and be told that you are not real? That you are figment of someone else’s imagination that they are using in order to deal with reality?

Fck that.

So what’s a coping mechanism? Heh heh. Let’s be “official” first, shall we?

Read the rest of this entry »

Birthchilds and Hosts and Presenting Personalities, Oh My!

I spoke in an earlier post about how the diagnosis of DID can be a crisis in an of itself. Crisis #2 may come from another aspect of the Stabilization phase: mappping the dissociative personality system … accepting each alter as a part of the internal system. [1]

This post discusses the different selves and my experience realizing that *I* and not the birth child. !?!

Read the rest of this entry »

Those silly little confirmations you are a multiple

A neat little vignette that you are more than you seem.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hypnagogia, co-consciousness, and the duality of multiples

A strange experience last night launched this morning’s digging for information. I awoke disjointed and wondering, whose nightmare had I been having. It was clearly not my own.

Shortly after I went to sleep, the feelings started. Instead of my normally detailed narrative dreams, what I experienced had a content I couldn’t quite reach. As if I was experiencing the body thrashings of someone else’s nightmares.

My research took me from hypnagogia, to theta waves, amnesic memories, co-consciousness, and amazingly, back around to the multiplicity of unity that is Jung.

Read the rest of this entry »

Review: “At Hell’s Gate: A Soldier’s Journey from War to Peace” by Claude Anshin Thomas

A dear friend shared a long phone conversation with me right after I was diagnosed with PTSD last summer. I had thought PTSD implied war….shell shock. Turns out the second most common cause is sexual abuse. My friend came by his diagnosis more traditionally: Vietnam.

He recommended a book “At Hell’s Gate: A Soldier’s Journey from War to Peace” which struck a chord in me.  What follows is not a true review of the book, but a rambling response seen through my own trauma.

Read the rest of this entry »

Dreaming in DID©: Using DID to accept your self-worth

Comforting to me is this idea that DID is a natural response to unnatural events. A creative defense response. Not a bizarre aberration in my head suggesting some underlying psychosis.

I’ve read that one goal of therapy is reintegration of the individual selves who have been split off.

There are debates about whether integration is truly necessary or desirable (or even controllable). I’lI withhold my opinion because I am simply not far enough along in the process to make an intelligent decision.

Or, perhaps, I cannot yet reach a quorum. <smile>

But I just learned something. With growing awareness of the splits inside me comes the possibility that separation of selves can help in the healing process. Interactions among selves facilitate knowledge and recovery.

Let me tell you about a dream I had last night.

Read the rest of this entry »