HF mentioned Fakes and Baby Talk in How does “I” become “We”? I also have a hard time with this. As someone with DID, I realize that makes me a pretty big target for flames.
Hold on while I put on my flame proof suit.
“Flames will be used to light the ritual fire and roast marshmallows.” – Echo
<disclaimer #1 of several> This post will piss some people off. It is a meandering diatribe on fakers and child alters from an opinionated engineer. There has been internal debate if this should be rewritten in a Kinder Gentler voice, but hey, this is life. Life has controversy, life has sarcasm, life has opinion, and almost nothing in life is benign enough to be accepted by all. Deal with it. Or move along.
Baby talk and fakers is a controversial topic HF brought up in her last post, How does “I” become “We”? and that we discussed in email. Lotsa folks disagree on this one – believers and non believers (Perhaps a religion, eh?). So I say up front…these are MY opinions. Probably uninformed ones as well. (And to complicate things, they are the opinions of the “alter” who is writing this post. Oh, the irony, the irony….)
(“Someone in here is Emily and she is being asked to Approve this Message.”) Heh heh.
Thesis statement for those requiring tirade-ial outlines
I firmly believe there are a boatload of people who fake DID/MPD.
Why? For attention. To stir up drama. For shits and giggles. To offset tedious teenage angst. To be acquitted of a crime. Whateeeeeeeeeeever.
Real vs faked DID – a characteristic?
Quite the opposite. We’ve written elsewhere about what multiples really look like: “obsessive secrecy, masked symptoms, terror of exposure … they invest huge amounts of energy in acting and appearing singleton.” The typical individual is not “florid” and does not flaunt it. We hide it.
Compare that to individuals on TV shows who switch for the camera. Those who post videos on YouTube.
As a general rule, I *cannot* switch on a whim. Sometimes I switch on a trigger with amnesia, sometimes there is internal begging for the self who is the great presenter to get her ass out of bed so we can get to work.
I am somewhat hamstrung by the fact that I do not have access to all the abilities that this body possesses.
I do not understand how people can “control” a switch for the camera and an audience. Why they would want to. (Right now, I seriously hope I can stick around because I need to get some work done and I am the most effective at doing a particular type of work.)
But hey – the whole faking thing is my opinion. But check it out – all this florid stereotyping by fakers makes real-life behaviors seem, well, ordinary. Unremarkable.
Unremarkable – “found in the ordinary course of events. Mundane.”
I *live* for anything that makes my experience simply “ordinary.” Can we get on with life now please okay thanks?
Plz k thx? (Hold on, I’ll get there.)
I want attention
HF shares she has seen people in online “who the minute the attention shifts from them, start talking baby talk…what seems to be a uniformly adopted ‘little’s speak.'”
And, “As far as I’m concerned, if somebody has genuinely regressed to the level of a 2 year old, then they won’t be posting on any forums, misspellings or not … I am firmly convinced those people [are] fakes.”
Then she offers a common example of what appears on many forums:
“i don fink dat bes nis wut juni sa nono i duz lov tiny an i don se hrz in lon lon daz i wis i cud se herz y tiny don com pla no mor huh mabe tiny don lik mez no mor o i bez sad”
– IamUs. (2006). “o dat bad wut juni sa,” [forum post], HealthyPlace, http://forums.healthyplace.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Number=65912&page=0&view=collapsed&sb=5&o=&fpart=1 (accessed November 11, 2008)]
I do not have an alter I can ask to translate that for me. Would some grammatician please confirm that this is not representative of the developing speech patterns of a young child?
<Cynic my dear? You have no idea.>
Why Little’s Speak?
Sooooo, who are these fakers? Who are we, those with and without DID, to classify fakers? Can we label the fakers based purely on what repels us internally?
<churning internal dissention reduced to one response by dictatorial action.>
Hard as that is for me to admit, my suspicion of individuals using Little’s Speak online is not a conclusive reason for me to label them fakers. Although I do believe in my gut that a majority of them are. However, I have no proof. I don’t have a need for proof because I’ll not force my reality on someone else. Just don’t force yours on me and we can peacefully coexist.
“So,” I hear you cry, “Who the hell are you to turn your back on those of us who allow our Littles to join their own forums? Especially you, someone formally diagnosed with DID?”
Well, you’re right.
All those Little Speaking out there may truly be child alters typing away at the keyboard, but I have a hell of a hard time believing it. Flame away. There is too much order to the interaction, conversational give-and-take, far beyond what a 2 year old can comprehend.
(Or PERHAPS are they posting with a co-conscious adult in the background to type and maintain “forum décor”? And if so, why are the misspellings left in? Is it the type of gatekeeping that happens inside me: “pass though” versus “editing for 1 consistent voice”? Or is Little’s Speak an affectation to make it completely clear that the author is a child because obvious intonation and voice cues aren’t available via written word? But let’s not nitpick, eh?)
And another query from the cynic – does everyone speak the same Little Speak? Same grammar, same words? Is there a dictionary? (oh, I know there is a flame in the making… So how about ya hold the flame and go find some evidence to share either way?)
Would be an interesting investigation; after all, LOLspeak has some clearly defined rules, unique as they are, that are well understood and accepted. I understand LOL a lot easier than Little Speak.
(Plz k thx?)
I think LOLspeak is kinda cute, or is it just the kitten (kitteh?)
(Extending neck further out on chopping block…) Some of the forum content and YouTube videos of/by individuals with DID make me sick. Surf YouTube yourself.
Why is my stomach in a twist? Because my friends and relatives who know my diagnosis may see these lovely representations and assume that these are 1) representative and 2) me. Gak. Irrational and uninformed as it is.
Maybe I am as uninformed about child alters and public Littles Speak, as I felt HF was uninformed about my experiences with DID. Could be. I’ll allow the possibility if all of you allow my opinions.
Tell us about yourself(ves)
“So, Emily (Kate), do you have any child alters?”
If you’ve read the About this Blog, you know there is no “roll call” of me/us. Many contributors in different shapes and forms. Most signed “Emily” to maintain a constant singular voice (and this is HER blog), but you know that Em is more about the pictures and visuals than the words. Cami writes most of this for real. With Em’s approval.
<Heh – an “in-house” support staff – oh I crack myself up.>
Aaaaannnnnyyyyywayyyyyyyyyyyy… (See? Inflection and intonation with only words IS possible)
(My best friend yesterday, on an email he got from this chick who wants more than he is willing to offer… he told me, “She wants a relaaaaationship. Someone that wants to beeeeee with her.”)
Anyway, I digest.
Child alters and more compelling communications
My tirade against Little’s Speak online is limited to that – Little’s Speak online and it’s possible relationship to individuals faking DID.
On the other hand, Emily strongly suggests that I offer both sides of the coin…more palatable (to me/us) methods of communication of very young child alters. Ones believable to me/us.
Art. Visual impressions. Wide eyes and suffusing wonder at stimulating scenes. These resonate and are accepted by my gut. They are very common in here. This blog got started when Emily started interacting more – but her words are often color and design as with this blog.
My reality … accept or not Believers and Skeptics.
There are two child alters in here. Neither talk baby talk. Both rarely talk aloud to others. As there is a good deal of co-consciousness here, and it is usually a conscious decision to lower that wall enough, around very select people, in order to let those thoughts be relayed directly instead of through part of me who tends to edit and control the “interface” to the rest of the world. Who makes sure we are consistent as much as possible. (Which is obviously not me. Sarcasm knows no bounds. Wry smile.)
Instead of words, these girls express through mental pictures and feelings. A sense of right and wrong (more specifically, of being wronged). With few words but a well-honed sense of trustworthiness based on many experiences of broken trust.
Or, artwork online
I see this many places on the internet – artwork that is clearly created by child alters. For example, the Littles Keepers Korner from Keepers Korner. SecretShadows has some great art – the second one I feel I could have drawn, as you can see from my comment.
These are powerful powerful images and much more believable communication methods for littles. IMHO! I have art in many forms – drawings, paintings, quiet poetry, photography. For now (and perhaps forever) that is much better inside.
As I do not experience baby talk, it may be inappropriate for me to comment about those who might. But even if I did, I know that I have such a strong sense of protection and a dire need to hide this, that the Little Speak would not be allowed out if at all possible.
And here is the ultimate irony –
As one with DID, I must admit that it is my perspective that most typing 2 y/o’s are fakers, even though this belief may not be unanimous inside me. But for ME, who CAN type and CAN research and CAN construct coherent and compelling sentences, I see the Little’s pages in discussion forums (not little’s pages on websites for art, etc.) and roll my eyes.
But who’s to say a little part of me doesn’t log in after hours and post comments on a blog of her own?
<Another disclaimer. While HF made the comments that launched this tirade, this in no way implies that she shares my somewhat rabid opinions on the matter.>
<A third disclaimer. This post was not intended to produce flames. It is not based on researched fact. If you’re gonna flame, do it with complete sentences and without anger or don’t bother.>
[Ed note: But alas, this post DID generate flames which I removed, but explored in a follow-up post:Nasty Comments about my “Cemented Pearls of Pain”]
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