Teaser for an Upcoming Guest Post by My Husband!

An amazing thing happened tonight!

The other day, Elysium3006 commented on a post I made last May called, Should I Tell My Spouse I  Have DID? But today I told Elysium3006 that my response has changed – it all depends on timing and communication.  Back then my response was a resounding NO!  But today my response is different – my husband knows mostly everything and he is so accepting and a pillar of my support system.  He read my response to Elysium3006, and even added a few lines of his own feelings.

He had good thoughts so I said, somewhat flippantly, “You should write a post about what it’s like to be a spouse of someone with DID and what it was like to go through the hard times .  When you didn’t know what was happening with me, and I didn’t tell you even that I had started therapy.  And how I eventually was able to share, and how we finally started talking so positively for both of us! And then finally stepping back from the very real specter of divorce.

To my elated amazement, he said, “Ok – start dictating.”  And I did.

I told him that his thoughts on when and how much to share with a significant other and family would be SO APPRECIATED by those of us who are afraid to talk, and for those who are support persons.

What an amazing husband I have!  If you’ve followed my healing, you will realize the complete turnaround in our relationship.  And you will hear how a man who never believed in therapy tells me to keep going as long as I need to.  Stay tuned!

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9 Comments»

  Secret Shadows wrote @

I cannot wait!!! My husband is a great support to me also. I remember when he didn’t get it and when he first was told I have DID how he thought, “No way!” But eventually he realized that it explained a lot about some of the things that always confused him. We have grown so much closer over the past year. I look very forward to reading what your husband has to share. My husband would be interested as well, I’m sure.

Glad to see you back posting. I have missed you so much. I love your sassy attitude!!!

🙂
Secret Shadows

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi SecretShadows!

I am glad your husband is also a support! My husband was the same way…as soon as he started to realize how this explained stuff he was already familiar with, it helped tremendously.

I told my therapist about this today, and she asked if she could read it as well. Then she asked me when I told him and his initial reaction, and I told her I could not recall. One of those frustrating things…you think your memory is continuous and then you look back to see those gaping holes that you KNOW contain stuff, but you will not be able to access until later. On one hand, I wished I could have given her the info, but on the other hand, I know there is some reason I cannot. I am both frustrated and fascinated.

I want to post as much as I can, but life is so complicated. I will always be here because I am learning I must give time and honor to all. But I am also learning that I have never balanced well. Because I never knew. Thank you for your smiley! Sorry – don’t mean to be so serious!!!

  Jackie wrote @

HI there Emily! Although I’m single, it will be interesting reading what your and hopefully Secret Shadows husbands have to say.

Jackie
🙂

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Jackie and all…

Yes, I think that a lot of what I have experienced is probably relevant to anyone close to you, and also perhaps things you should think about when/if you decide to take someone new into your confidence.

I hope what we have to say will be useful.

  David Rochester wrote @

How great — I think it will be wonderful to read what he has to say.

As you may know, I’ve started dating an amazing woman to whom I disclosed the DID very early on, and who has been so incredibly accepting and understanding that I’ve really become even more of a cheerleader for the value of disclosure. As you probably remember, I diclose more readily than most DIDers do, but even I had major issues with the idea of disclosing to a potential partner.

I’m here to say it’s well worth it.

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Wow – that is terrific! I can’t imagine that, but yes, you spoke of being more open about it. I do see that with most others, my disclosure is something they are handling pretty well – it is ME that continues to have the problem with it. Sigh.

I will share what he and I talked about, but honestly, I go back and forth about it. An argument about sharing it intellectually, and actually listening to what he said and emotionally absorbing some of the stuff I didn’t know. I think it will take me a bit more time to put up a post, just because of my own coming to terms with things.

  Ravin wrote @

That’s wonderful all round. Waiting to read.
Ravin

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

…working on it now!

I am interspersing his thoughts with my own to illuminate our disjointed paths. But I found myself writing and writing as if it were in my journal, writing for therapy and realization. That was great and now in my journal. But it’s not right for our joint post. I am in the process of tightening up my comments. I want my words only to show the disconnect, and to show the insight of his advice working on us.

Boy, these kinds of posts seem straightforward at the onset, and just get more and more challenging to “get it right”!

  Echo wrote @

Just catching up on your blog now my computer is working again, and this is great to read. I’m a big proponent of disclosure as far as spouses are concerned (provided it’s going to be positive) and I’m very glad to hear that you’ve been able to tell your husband and that he’s been so supportive.
I’d definitely be interested to hear other spouses perspectives. My husband has always been a great anchor for me it’ll be interesting to see another spouse’s insight.


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