Sign the Guest Book and share your Blogs!

WELCOME!

Many great people have visited and commented on this blog. But this good stuff gets buried in the volume. So, I’d love to capture something about you here – whatever you’d like to share, even if just your first name. (Or nothing – just thanks for coming!)

Here’s some stuff to consider sharing –

  • Your first name or username/handle
  • Your diagnosis or challenge
  • If you are here as a supportive friend or family member (thank you!)

This can also be a way to share your OWN webpage or blog! (NONE OF THIS IS REQUIRED!)

  • Address of your webpage, blog or forum
  • A way to contact you (e.g. email)
  • YOUR favorite places on the Internet
  • Anything you find help for FUN

(The comments form may ask for your email and webpage. I do not publish these, and I believe you can comments without providing anything but a name/handle.)

Thank you for coming! My best,

Emily et al.

Advertisements

49 Comments»

  anita wrote @

i go through cycles of believing i am d.i.d. on a ‘not believing cycle’ right now, so it is easy to read what others go through.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I enjoy your sense of humor. You are a delight.

  Karen Overhill wrote @

Dear Emily,

Thank you for leaving your comment under the article of my story in Newsweek Magazine, “Inside Karen’s Crowded Mind”. I recently started my own blog “Ask Karen” on our http://www.switchingtime.wordpress.com. website. Please visit. Dr. Baer and I are looking forward to our paperback coming out on September 9th., 2008. I am now answering questions and would love to hear from you! Also, I am glad to hear you are interested in writing your own story. There is so much yet to learn about MPD/DID. I wish you all the best!

Karen Overhill
“Switching Time”

  emilylonelygirl wrote @

Dear Karen

Congrats on your upcoming book! It sounds interesting, and I will check it out. I am glad that you are answering questions on your site. Sometimes people ask questions here and it takes me off on a research path if I don’t know the answer myself. It is wonderful someone is doing that more formally.

Thanks for stopping by!

My best
Emily

  Tigerweave wrote @

Hi Emily,

Thes things you know, but hey, who can resist a guest book huh?

My name is Anna. I used to go by many names, most often Leonie and Imoh and Anne, as I has a number of personalities created in response to severe childhood trauma. (More than those three, but they were the three main “fronters”)
After many years of therapy I have integrated and love it very much. I still miss my personalities, but less so the more I remember that I/Anna am really them, after all, just with one thread of beingness now, not many.

My journal can be found here,
http://tigerweave.livejournal.com/
and I write about whatever takes my fancy. Often it can be about DID/Multiplicity, and often it can be about my writing. I am writing a fantasy book I am aiming to get published soon.

With love,
Anna.

  emilylonelygirl wrote @

Anna

It is wonderful to have you “officially” leave a note, after all that we have talked and shared.

Your recent integration is incredible to me, and I can’t wait for our joint post on your experience.

Love,
Emily

  anita wrote @

emily,
i miss you.
i hope you are ok.
i see you having trouble with people stealing your stuff. that is not right. good for you for standing up for yourself.
you are one smart lady.

  mylifeonthedidlist wrote @

emily, you were one of the first people to comment on my blog. i have DID but am about a year into the official diagnosis and it’s still very hard for me to reach out and talk to people. i’m trying to continue to blog when i can allow myself to give attention to this this still uncomfortable subject, and will certainly keep reading yours.

  emilylonelygirl wrote @

Hi myliveonthedidlist

I am glad that you started to blog and talk to people. I am a year into the DX as well, and sometimes I think it is a wonderful think, and other times I think it completely sucks. Ah, the irony of being able to have several simultaneous divergent opinions.

Keep your head up!
Emily

  johnnamusing wrote @

Excellent site. Very informative and well written. I was diagnosised with DID about 15 years ago and have recently started blogging. Lol I love it except for the fact that I’ve ended up with 4 blogs so trying to figure all of that out. Anyway the one that I have set aside specifically for my experience with DID is at http://facesofme.wordpress.com/ . Im a writer and an artist so the information you gace about copyright is very helpful. Keep doing what your doing it looks great.
Johnna

  davidrochester wrote @

I found your blog via Secret Shadows. I was officially diagnosed with DID about a year and a half ago, after twenty-five years of trying to get therapists to validate my self-diagnosis of what I thought of as a “multiple personality disorder.” Amazingly, I was repeatedly told that my high level awareness of the process made it impossible for me to have DID, because all DID patients have amnesia and lose time, and aren’t aware of their switching. It never occurred to any of them that while I was highly aware of my primary alter, I might have other alters I wasn’t aware of. Bingo — eight more so far, now that I’ve learned how to pay attention to the selves who are less obvious.

I now know what complete nonsense all of that misinformation was, although my therapist now, who has been working with dissociative disorders for a couple of decades, has said it’s incredibly rare for a DID client to show up in the therapist’s office knowing exactly what the problem is. But that doesn’t make it less real; it just makes me someone with an unusual capacity to self-observe.

My main blog is linked in my commenting name. I’ve added you as an approved reader to my private DID blog, at http://www.peskydots.wordpress.com

Thanks for all the wonderful and well-expressed information here. My therapist keeps telling me that DID folks are the smartest and most creative people in the world, and more and more, I’m coming to believe that’s true. Thanks for standing up and being counted as one of those extraordinary people.

  emilylonelygirl wrote @

Hi David

Thanks for coming by and commenting – you have some great stuff to say, and I’d love to have your input and views any time! I identify with all you wrote, and am coming to realize from talking to people online that we are so similar.

Your therapist sounds excellent – my old one also stressed the creativity angle – I believe that 100% How else could we have survived with a part intact to start unraveling the mess later? And yes, how many people realize DID/MPD when they start therapy. I had SO MUCH evidence but didn’t have the knowledge/exposure to ever have put 2 and 9 (heh heh) together.

As for me standing up and being counted…I certainly am pushing the cause online. But not in “real life.” For all my research, assertions, and beliefs online, I am not ready to face the onslaught of the general public.

Maybe sad, and at times I feel guilty about that. Someday I will. For now, this blog is the cornerstone of my confidence to come out when the stars are aligned. And as I find out the similarities among us all, it gives me confidence that when DID/MPD bursts into acceptance, that our commonalities will be one of the reasons we will be believed.

My best
Em

PS – SecretShadows rocks!

  davidrochester wrote @

Don’t feel guilty, Em. General disclosure of a condition so blatantly misunderstood would be a failure to self-protect, and until you’re extremely stable, your main goal should be to self-protect. I mean, lack of safety is how this whole thing got started, right? 🙂 I’ve been lucky in running into people whom I felt comfortable telling, and I’m also fortunate in being exceptionally high-functioning, so when I do tell people, they have immediate evidence that I can’t possibly be “crazy” because I do all these things that a genuinely crazy person wouldn’t be able to handle. So I’m lucky to have that immediately apparent “balance” to any disclosure I choose to make, which makes my auditors more open-minded and receptive. But I wouldn’t do it if I weren’t very sure it was safe.

Re: the diagnosis … it’s really funny; prior to getting together with my therapist, I knew exactly nothing about MPD/DID … I hadn’t read about it. It had just always been obvious to me, from the age of six or seven, that I had a second personality … or that my one personality that I used to have had done some amoeba-morph-splitting thing. What’s weird to me, in retrospect, is how completely accepting I was and am of this phenomenon … I was so accustomed to it, it was just like … yeah, that’s what happens. La la la. But I am very fortunate in that I really like my primary alter … much, much better than I like myself, so it was great when he showed up to run my life, even if the process felt like I was a car having its gears very violently shifted. But wow, once that gear got shifted, it was 0 -120 in 5 seconds down the highway, baby! 🙂

  Kathyscolors wrote @

Dear Emily,
I am glad I found your blog. I am newly diagnosed DID ( one month) and just getting to know my internal system. My system first presented in emotions, all separated with different jobs– as I continued to write…..the parts came out in colors and names that are related to the part’s function.

Its actually pretty intense and draining….just wondering if anyone could share tips on how to handle getting to know more about one’s parts and if any one experienced their parts coming out in stages like this.

Thanks for sharing through your blog!

Kathyscolors

  emilylonelygirl wrote @

Hi Kathyscolors

Welcome! I am so pleased that people are finding their way here to talk about some of the real shared issues of DID.

What you are experiencing I believe is “normal” and there are folks here who have known for years and others newly diagnosed. I was diagnosed last year but knew something was wrong for a while.

The question you ask is probably different for everyone. I feel colors as well and use those colors to map out my system. Yes, it is VERY intense, so try not to be put off by that – it can be draining work but it is worth it to finally understand and acknowledge parts of yourself. Welcome and know them. I am still pretty early in the process, so my experience may be closer to yours. There are folks here who have been working and understanding for years, and a few who are integrated. Advice and experience runs across the board.

Tips… for me to get to know parts, I have journaled intensely. I have all my life…and that is one of the reasons that I have to accept this – my diaries show me the evidence. So writing is natural to me.

I also know my parts are not done being identified, known. And several not communicating. Like you, parts are coming out in stages. That is probably VERY common. As things progress, nebulous areas I know are parts are starting to become clearer to me. So, uncertainty is something you have to deal with.

One thing I would advise…from my experience. You can’t force this. You can investigate, look for the evidence, internally explore, but at some point you will still have questions for which (not yet) there are no answers. It will take time for more information about all of you to come to light. That can be frustrating (it was for me when I was trying to map us early on!) but take it in steps. Don’t give yourself pressure. You’ve experienced this for years and years…give yourself the time and space to let it unwind as it needs to.

I wish you so much good luck in this process. Please visit any time.

My best
Emily

  Kathyscolors wrote @

Dear Emily,
Thank you for the encouragement and support. Funny, for years I have been feeling that writing would be the thing that saved me–I’m just now beginning to grasp how.

This morning I read a post here about continuing with a therapist that does not have the neccessary experience with DID. This was so helpful . I am transitioning from a therapist who is/was accepting, supportive, warm, etc….but who simply doesn’t know what to do with me at this stage to one who trained and has worked with DID clients for 20 years. I can already see more markers on the path. Not that we know exactly what will happen next–its more that I feel that she knows what to do with what comes up as it unfolds. Your post confirmed for me to trust my often hard to find gut about this.

I look forward to reading more! Thank you, thank you.

Kathy

  emilylonelygirl wrote @

Hi Kathy

Sounds like your change in therapists is mirroring mine…from one without the DID experience to one that does. That feeling that the new therapist knows what she is doing…feels good. I’ve only had 2 sessions with her, but I have high hopes.

Alternating doubt and positive progress in therapy is normal. Gak. 🙂

Emily

  Shasta wrote @

It is a very thought provoking site. You are supportive and encouraging but you are not afraid to ask the hard questions. I am glad because the questions I ask myself are hard too. This is not an intellectual excercise with me. It is intrinsic to my system. Doubting was what kept me from being assimilated. I was Dx’d nine years ago with DDNOS because I have few alters and because I am co-conscious. Well, not competely. When I had a crisis last year and switched I could not remember the event for a week. The demeanor and emotions I exhibited – child crying, mature adult speaking logically switched back and forth in a way that inspired my doc to order a psych eval. As far as I was concerned though I was not afraid at all. My child alter was terrified. My wife is very supportive of me. She is more supportive of him than I am. She has said many times “if I could take a video of you, you would never doubt again.” She want the whole me. I feel empty sometimes. My child told her I was a shell. The others had to be taken down because I could not be hurt as much. That was a paraphrase. His way of talking and thinking is rather idiosyncratic and concrete. At any rate I am glad I found your site.

  camigwen wrote @

Shasta
Thank your for your kind words. My husband and best friend think I THINK too much!

What you describe about your wife and the video – I think my husband could do that as well. For everyone who says to me – Cami, you may be in denial, but we have seen you like this for years. Wow.

I am also a bit of a shell. The last to know, and as Emily wrote a little while ago, I have good intentions but have been somewhat ineffective. (Can you believe it?!?) But I think I am scoring better lately. 🙂

The amnesia is scary, yeah. It sounds like you have a great wife – wonderful wonderful!

What do you mean the others had to be “taken down”? That sounds sad.

Thank you for stopping by – I hope to hear from you soon.

Cami/Emily

  Shasta wrote @

cami, In the beginning my wife sat in on some therapy sessions. She and the therapist said that if they could take a video of me then I would not be able to deny the child’s existence. I said “whatever” but they never got around to doing it. One night when I was half asleep she was talking to the little one. That is when he talked about them “going down” I suppose that in more abstract terms what he was saying was that went underneath my conscious awareness. He, the little one apparently was down there too. He called the place where he lived a tree because it was like being in the hollow of a tree. It was a very small dark place and there was no way to get out. He could not touch anyone and no one could hear him. No one neven knew he was there. He was alone. That is what he talks about as he cries “alone alone alone” I cannot understand i those feelings. All I can think is that it must be how a person would feel after many years of isolation. It doesnt make sense though because I never was isolated like that. In fact, I do not care about being with others. I never get lonely. When he came out I was able to see things through his eyes (you know what I mean by that). It was strange. The world looked like an entirely new place. I had never imagined what that would be like but there it was.. What mattered to him about it was sensory things like colors. Then there were all those objects for which he had no name and explanation. What he liked the most was the sky because unlike his tree which was very small there seemed to be no ceiling. He would talk endlessly about blue and how it goes up and up. And the sun too because he world had been dark. I have been to therapy off and on for a long time. I have observed that he apparenly is unable to construct images in his head, that is, he cannot imagine things. Except for his peculiar ideas which have meaning only to him, a thing is just a thing. Therapists never got that and when they said something like “lets build a house” He would say he could not and when they insisted he could he would get angry at them. He knew he could not build a house. One thing I found that seemed to validate my impressions of him was when I studied how eye movements reflect inner cognitive processes. Having watched him for a long time (from the outside, as it were) I realized one day that his eye movements indicated that when he thought all he ever did was recall and at NO time did he ever make anything up. That supported what I had already seen and it went against my idea that this whole thing was something that was made up. He never makes things up. That is the way he presented himself in the very beginning and in all this time his personality has remained constant That is who he is. My wife says he has the extremes of my emotions. both sadness and happiness. I am deficient in both. Maybe in some ways he is more real than I am. Now that is a weird thought! Ok I think my posts are too long. Ty for replying

  camigwen wrote @

Hi Shasta

What you describe feels real to me. Your little one has characteristics of my two little ones. I smile when you talk about the sky being so high – oh yeah, we got one of those wondrous little girls living for the present, loving colors. I am not far enough along in therapy to have tried the “build a house” thing – not sure what will happen. My other little *can* imagine things though.

My wife says he has the extremes of my emotions. both sadness and happiness. I am deficient in both. Maybe in some ways he is more real than I am.

This makes me sad…I am a shell in a way, too. My extreme emotions are elsewhere, too. But I have been able to feel them many times, but I don’t feel like they are mine, but something I am being allowed to feel. Not sure that makes sense. But I was thinking that over time might you be able to start sharing those feelings?

I also understand the “he is more real” idea….especially for parts of me that have been around longer than I have. They belong here more. Yeah.

  mo wrote @

NOt sure where to start really…for years I have struggled with depression and anorexia/bulima, then had a major episode 9 years ago, and diagnosed with ptsd. Before this I really thought I was crazy, worked in health care, was convinced I was schziophrenic, just kept trying to push things away. Once I was diagnosed with ptsd, researching it I came across information on dissociation..wow I thought that is so me, I was so afraid to tell anyone for years about voices in my head, lost time, forgetting how to drive etc, even then though I found some way to rational all of these things as normal. Two years ago started seeing a new therapist for ptsd mainly because she did EMDR, she has been great, but even after two years we have not been able to get to the point of doing EMDR. As time went on and I trusted her more I guess I told her things.Just recently she recommended I see a doc for medication review and she told me this doc specialises in dissociation issues. Anyway they had me do the MID test, I do not have the results yet, but the whole test freaked me out big time. I found it very hard to do, and struggled with telling the true, questioning if I even was telling the truth, that I was just imagining it all and was looking for attention etc. I have spent the last week researching and I have great access to university liberary and reputable journals etc, I was desperately looking for anything to debunk DID on one hand and on the other looking for validation of my symptoms. I also was very angry, and scared. I dont have alter with names at least I dont think so :), but do hear voices, get images in my head with these voices. I have a child that can fly, jump to high places, a bit of a superhero, and I am freaked as I am wondering now what if she is an alter /part and it how I have fracture a vertabrae, cracked ribs, sprain ankle and have no idea how I did that. I know I for sure dissociate and I accept that… but could I really have DID, i just feel right now that everything is coming to a head, my head is full of noise, and emotions are on and off constantly. I did tell my therapist the other day something that I did unaware of the time that is vastly out of charachter for me, kinda embarssing, intially I told her it in a half truth I think checking her reactions to it, and then felt it was ok to tell her the real truth which given everything I have read about DID does truly point to that. Sometimes I am very aware of voices telling me what to do, or commenting, but they dont have a name , so maybe I am not. I too am very weary of the implications of this diagnosis, I have two kids that I adore and live for, they keep me sane, and while |Im not a perfect mom, I do a pretty good job, actually between work and them, I structure my life pretty good and feel safe most of the time. Any any input or advice would be great, I know there are other test out there other than the MID, Multidimensional inventory of dissociation. Although all the studies done using the MID were bang on, with confidence intervals over 95%, proper P values etc..my rational side and educational background can t argue with it, but man I still try. oH ya that the other think i never say We or us, although my ex husband still teases me as I always used to say I had a talk with myself, but again its all me and I…so maybe im not DID. Thanks for the great website and info it has really helped I thinki 🙂

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

I was desperately looking for anything to debunk DID on one hand and on the other looking for validation of my symptoms.

This is exactly why I started this blog. My compulsive need to research this to convince myself or not…you surely are not alone in this. I hope your research has helped you address the denial (as with me, probably not completely, but enough for the rest of me to keep bashing me over the head with it!)

initially I told her it in a half truth I think checking her reactions to it

Yeah, I did this too with both of my therapists, although I am not sure I did it on purpose to test them. The first didn’t react in a knowing manner – like she was waiting for more to make up her mind. That made me uncomfortable and I started to withhold. It wasn’t until later I found that she didn’t have the tools to deal with DID. So, gut reactions have merit. My second therapist I have only seen about 5 times. She responded in all the right ways – completely accepting what I have experienced.

I too am very weary of the implications of this diagnosis, I have two kids that I adore and live for, they keep me sane, and while |’m not a perfect mom, I do a pretty good job,

I was too – but here’s what really helped me – the diagnosis is only relevant to give you the piece of mind that what you have been experiencing is real – “legitimate,” which researchers like us disparately need. You are not crazy.

Also, what you ARE is what you have BEEN for years – the DX (if you get it or not) doesn’t make your symptoms worse or make you a worse mother.

You will beat yourself up with the p values, confidence intervals, etc., but the studies are only to establish trends, factors, predictors, etc. You can’t apply the results to your own life – your therapist will help you get there so just work with her slowly so as not to hurt as you take these tests.

Don’t worry about saying “we” or “us”. I never did and felt uncomfortable with it in the beginning. I only do now in very specific situations where I would be discounting something inside, like dissension. Or if I want to show agreement and not just *my* opinion as host. And only with my therapist or online here…very very rarely with my mom or best friend.

Thanks for the nice feedback – I hope you stick around. Please share your experiences as well on any of these topics.

Camigwen

  mo wrote @

Thanks for replying it means alot to me. What gave me the courage to post was the fact you like to research like me..Im obsessive about it. Also I read you bring in articles info to doc to discuss, I do too. Your advice re diagnosis hit home, yes I need hard science but DiD research is what I consider soft science as its subjective, how did you get your head around that. The evidence is there within me and my actions, but I just cant seem to accept it. It doesnt help that a voice is belittling me for even thinking that I might be, telling me im nuts etc, I think this is also the voice that prevents my T from getting anywhere with me, its stubborn and feisty, but \i think at heart its very afraid. Does that make sense. Anyway sorry if this is an inappropriate place to ask this questions etc, but I am just so relief someone actually anwered me.
Thanks again and sorry for bugging you for info, if my slang seems weird or anything its because I am irish and it comes out sometimes even though I have lived in N America for a long time.
Thanks again for your time

  castorgirl wrote @

Hi,
We found your blog through SecretShadows just recently – although I’m being told by another part that she found it ages ago when you did a post about needing to change therapists. Ok that sentence probably gives an indication that this body carries the diagnosis DID.

Similarly to what anita has mentioned earlier, we experience cycles of denial about the diagnosis. We recently changed therapists in the hopes that the previous therapist was causing all the symptoms and encouraging the dissociation. As librarians we’ve read many peer reviewed articles which describe DID in a very negative light. In many ways it was easier to believe that we were making it all up – why would anyone want to own the history of this body?

We’re incredibly detached from this body and everything at the moment. We have a blog, but there is a tension about what it should do and be. We’re not good advocates or examples of what it’s like to be living with DID. We’re not sure how to balance sending a positive concept of the functioning level of someone with DID and being honest with the craziness that goes on in this head at times. We also just don’t have a gift with words. We have a background in the Sciences as this didn’t need emotion or creativity – concepts we’re not particularly good with.

We’d just like to say Thank you for the great blog you have created here. Anything positive about DID is always good to see.

Take care
castorgirl

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Castorgirl

It doesn’t matter to me how you get here, or how many times it takes you to find me! Welcome welcome welcome to all of you!!!!!

I am SORRY that you have the idea that your therapist brought this about. I can understand that – you find this out in therapy…and just wonder. Especially about the stuff with the False Memory Syndrome.

Castorgirl…Anita…each of you…right now, it doesn’t matter why you are here, or what is going on inside you….you are YOU! No matter what is inside. SCREW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK!!! You are learning about you…that is what is most important…you will be like me…and research all the time. That is fine. But like me, you have to start giving some credence to the voice inside that tell you, yes, Gastorgirl, this is who you are. And just hearing those parts of you… will help with the denial.

I will admit…I am in the very beginning of my own journey, and I realize that after talking with people here, especially David. I also have made progress…there is such a range. I know it is hard, but try not to give yourself a hard time. Just learn about YOURSELF. If your first therapist somehow planted this in you… that will come out. Don’t push it. Just work on who you are.

(hugs)

Emily (and some Camigwen)

  castorgirl wrote @

Hi Emily and Camigwen,

Thank you… Instinctively we know that we’re not making this all up. Aimee and some of the others remember vividly the father telling them to stop talking in all those silly voices when the body was about 9… which was each of the younger ones talking in their own voices. Our solution to this was to create a spokeswoman 🙂 The mother is a nurse and now realises behaviours that she saw during the teens were dissociative.

But in order to keep going we had to have parts that kept this perfect childhood happening. So it’s like there are these parallel truths and its trying to get them to mesh or be worked out that’s the hard bit. I was born to keep being a happy teenager… I know this and I know the facts about why I needed to be born. Doesn’t make it any easier to cope with though. So some of us look at the images of the perfect childhood and hope that it is the truth.

We’re three years into therapy, but only had the DID diagnosis for a year or so. As the others said, most of us aren’t good at emotions so the whole therapy thing can be a bit of a struggle… We’ve got a couple who openly told the last therapist to shut up with the “b****y therapy c**p”… Ohhh yes we must be the ideal client for any therapist… lol

Again, thanks and take care…
Sophie 🙂

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Castorgirl, Anita, Sophie Aimee and all – amazing and sad I suppose that so many of us have the same story. But really neat that you created a spokeswoman – a part of you that recognized what was happening!

Yes – the perfect childhood. I didn’t do that part well at all – was stereotyped the moody child who was misunderstood. Later in my teens, I became perfect. By then more alters to take care of different things…not tasks, but characteristics. I worked out several with my first therapist – when and why nearly all of my alters were created, and she said that it was *very logical* why it happened this way. I because *perfect* in several arenas both academic and extracurricular. So NO ONE would suspect how damaged and confused I was inside .

The idea client….my first therapist weirded me out once in the beginning. I had done a disturbing drawing as a teen, and when I described it (before I showed it to her), she said “fascinating..” like I was a bug under a scope. Gave me the creeps, and made me wonder if we with DID are considered “neat cases”.

Yikes.

My best
Emily and Cami

  Cerulean 468 wrote @

Emily,
This is the first DID site I’ve come across that I feel like I can relate to. I was diagnosed DID almost 20 years ago. Now back in therapy for work on integration. Thank you for your intelligence, humor, and creativity. I very much appreciate the honesty of your writing and the variety of opinions that I find here.
Thank you, thank you,
Cerulean 468

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Cerulean!

I am really glad you dropped by and feel a connection with us! Wow – 20 years. What a time to consider all this, especially with all the changes in treatment and belief, etc. That is a story in and of itself.

Thanks for your kind works – please jump in at any time – I am really interested in your perspectives.

My best
Emily’s Camigwen

  bob wrote @

greetings Emily, I’m Bob & I would like to let you know that I emphathize with you . I helped Nomad with her journey by being a support person, I am a person in her book, titled Snow Angels, that you can see reviews and excerpts on http://www.nomadrose.com. Please feel free to email me if you have any questions. I hope your path is going well, sincerely Bob…

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Bob

Thanks for writing, and for being a support person for someone who needed that support. It is wonderful when support folks write and share their perspectives as well. Overall, I am making good progress along my path. Sometimes it meanders where I don’t expect, but I continue to go forward.

Emily/Cami

  bob wrote @

Greetings Emily&all, Hope all is peaceful with your system, I remember as NomadRose was learning about herself &the rest of her, there were some pretty rough times. It has been very peaceful for quite some time. If you get a chance peek at her web page. I would be glad to try to answer any questions you might have. There are many therapists out there,some open and some not, many different techniques to therapy, some will be progressive and some may even cause set backs. Never give up,there is always some stream of hope. I hope you have a good support system. Please take care of yourself. Bob…

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Bob

Wow – what a wonderful wish for me/us. I am happy you have peace – it is so special. I am sorry to ask – is the story of NomadRose your story? I looked at the page and it looks very special and good. I would like to read it sometime in the future. I must admit, sometimes I can read stories very intellectually when I/we am researching, but many times I simply cannot read other people’s stories – I am just not ready for it. I am sure you can understand why. I still do not know all the details of my own story – many parts are locked inside me. I am entering a phase of my therapy that will be/is very hard and I will be overwhelmed more easily. I have a new therapist I am beginning trust much more than my last one. She is very good – often outsmarts my analytical engineer – and that is saying a lot! She is wonderful.

You make a very valid point and people told me from the beginning and I didn’t realize emotionally – a strong support system. I do, and I am struggling with my own ability to TRUST them as my support system, knowing FULL WELL that *I* am the problem with trust. Not them. But when I have been able to trust and open up, I have never been hurt by those to are truly there for me.

So yes, I have to echo you – a support system is vital, and so is your ability to truly trust your ability to trust them.

Thank you for your kind and supportive words. The people I meet here on my/our blog, and elsewhere on the internet – you all are part of my support system as well.

My best
Cami/Emily

  bob wrote @

Greetings Cami/Emily, I hope you got my email, I have not been blogging long,infact your site is the first I wrote on. Should I have responded to your email on this page?? I wrote on the forward of the email you sent me. Please let me know if I am goofing up,as I know I am technologically challenged. But, a very quick learner. Please take care of you and yours. Later Bob…

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Bob

Well, I guess I am confused. I didn’t get email from you I don’t think – just comments here on the site. Either is fine, so don’t worry about it! If I missed some other email, just resend to the address above.

Cami

  bob wrote @

greetings from Bob, I know now my tech/error, sorry but that one went to cyberspace. I answered your question concerning Nomad’s story. I am the character referred to as Love. I notice that there are times that you sign off with a different name, is there a special greeting that you prefer so as to not leave anyone out in corresponding back and forth? I know the importance of acknowledging all who may be attentive to words. For each and everyone holds a very special function to the system. Please take care, I look forward to your response,Bob…

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Bob – thanks for clarifying about Nomad’s story – I didn’t want to assume.

Different names – historically, Emily started this blog but not to post, but as a way to establish her voice and her presence. With her permission, it is usually maintained by me/Camigwen who I believe is front most often. I/we started this trying not to explicitly use different names to avoid this type of confusion, but it became a little false inside to keep using Emily’s name. She still sees and approves. And Kate (Ms. Sarcasm) makes editorials which are quite apparent if you read more than a few posts. 😉

As to how to address – it doesn’t matter. Mostly me/Camigwen writes. But the whole thing belongs to Emily. I know, perhaps confusing, because many times it is collaborative. And I don’t expect anyone to KNOW. But you make a good point about respect, so I bet it is different for everyone.
Camigwen

  bob wrote @

To Camigwen, I just came across your March 11th update, sensing a lot of frustration with job seeking??? I can relate to this, although I am on a small pension I have been sending out resumes to switch over into casework or casemanagement. Not much going on here in the line of success. I will pass on a word of encouragement though, your ability and some of your talents are reflected in your site. I don’t know what you are seeking in employment but have you considered advertising your talent on youtube?? Sometimes it is just plain old location,location, location. You do have a lot to offer. Best wishes Bob…

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Yeah, I feel like I should be able to make money writing, but I am not sure how to start with it. How could I go about this on YouTube? I would not put my face in public tho.

  bob wrote @

Good point, sorry ,anonimity slipped my thinking. Nomad is the same way. I had heard that some people were advertising their skills on the web in order to gain employment. We have’nt figured out how to market a book without getting public with it. Your talent is apparent, please be encouraged , I know that does’nt pay the bills. Camigwen is an interesting name, does it hold a specific meaning? Sorry if that is too personal, just curious. I know alot of Nomad’s different alters had meaningful names. Please take care , aaI look forward to your response. Bob…

  mindparts wrote @

Emily, Great site. My blog is http://www.mindparts.org. I’m going to take a look now at your other postings. I’m DID and working really hard at healing, and have so for many years. I’ve had huge gains over the past year or so. Email me at: paul@mindparts.org. Best, Paul

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Paul – your write looks interesting as well and I will explore more around. Thanks for sharing and good luck on your continued gains in therapy.

My best
Cami & Emily

  bob wrote @

Bob,will sign off for a while,I will be proceeding to chemo & a kidney transplant in the near future. My best of hopes to you all in your future. Later Bob…

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Bob – I am sorry to reply so late – I hope all goes well with you. That is tough stuff and I hope you have people around you like we all need that here. Let us know how things go.
My best
Cami

  bob wrote @

Greetings Cami& All, This is Bob, Starting dyalisis August 11th,Got a P.D. catheter put in last week, that hurt. I hope you are all doing well and progressing with your journey. I am now 3 months into the wait for a kidney, they tell me that the usual wait for this region is 1 year. They also say that dyalisis will make me feel alot better. I did just return to my part time job yesterday, did I tell you that I did patient transport for a pschyiatric hospital in the midwest?? We serve ages 3-21,and are becoming a nationally known facility. I do admissions and discharges mostly in Missouri, Oklahoma and Nebraska. It is probably the best retirment job ever. I get to get kids to a place where they can get help, and take them home when they are ready. Thanks for thinking of me, I will get along one day at a time. Please let me know how you all are, I think your blog is great. You All take care, Later Bob…

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Bob,

Thanks for checking in – I am happy to hear from you! Yes, you mentioned the transport – I think that can be very satisfying if the facility is good and you know you are ultimately helping people heal. It must be an incredible experience to see the kids going in, and seeing the difference and healing starting as you bring them back home. Especially when we understand the pain and don’t judge. Thank you for doing that.

I hope the dialysis is making you feel better. I’ve heard and read about research the last many years about growing organs and stem cells for healing. Probably not in our lifetime, but I think it’s great that research is going on in these areas – really critical but sometimes overlooked.

Check in – I do see when you post, even though I don’t get back to reply as much as I used to.

My best
Cami/Emily

  bob wrote @

Greetings again to Camigwen & All, This is Bob again. I had a thought to a previous bit that I wrote you concerning your writing, The Writer’s Market, the book probably available at a Library, has resources of magazines,periodicals looking for articles short to long to fill their publications. Just a thought but you do have a talent. Hope things are going well for you all, Bob will be okay, I’m a survivor…

  Emily’s Camigwen wrote @

Hi Bob,

Thanks for thinking of me and my writing. I do love it – a voice I can’t express any other way. I have a couple outlines of a possible book that I will probably eventually write, but don’t have time to now. Smaller articles I could do – I do that in my real life sometimes but not often for pay. I took a look at the Writer’s Market, and I have seen something like this before. I recall that they like to see samples of your work. I laughed, kind of in frustration. I write here under a pseudonym, and I try very hard not to be identified. If I accept writing assignments in the DID/psych area, I can use these posts as references. But in my professional area, I’ve wanted to write articles for blogs, but some of my best short writing is at this blog, which I can’t use as a reference!!!!

Bob – be well and keep up the cheer. I’m thinking about you.

My best,
Cami/Emily, and special hugs from littles who don’t push out to express much here. (That makes you a special guy!)

  bob wrote @

Greetings Cami/Emily&All (Littles), I Feel Honored to be the recipient of special hugs from littles. In working with Nomad I was able to build a special relationship with all the different alters young & old. I really enjoyed working with the little ones, a very special group. I am always aware that there is a possibility of others watching,listening and waiting for a glimmer of Hope. Hugs received and very much appreciated, Bob a friend from out yonder…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s