Flame-Quenching “Move Along” Standard Disclaimer

<standard disclaimer>

This disclaimer is to whittle away those who might not like/understand/believe/appreciate the meandering post on this blog, leaving a subset of the human race who are as warped/interested/amused/dedicating to healing as I am.

This site is rated PG. However you interpret that in your system. Use only as directed; intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling contents can be harmful or fatal. Some assembly required.

If you intend to flame, read this in its entirety. Or, read it to be amused.

0) Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Void where prohibited. Product is provided “as is” without any warranties. Driver does not carry cash.

1) My Presence on the Internet for Dummies. This is a blog. It appears on the internet. Some other websites and blogs point to it. It points to other websites and blogs. Run Spot Run. People I know and people I don’t know post links to this blog. Sometimes on private forums I have no access to. Some people send links to this blog in emails to other people. This is beyond my control. Sometimes I leave links to this blog. I try to do it responsibly.

1a) Your Actions on the Internet for Dummies. You are free to surf the internet. No one forces you to visit a site. You have to click on a link of your own volition (unless your computer has a virus. I am not a virus, although I play one on TV). You got to my blog of your own accord. If you find you don’t want to be here, then Move Along. First Amendment gives me the right to author this blog. If you believe I have violated the First Amendment, send me an email from a valid email account. If you don’t like my response, sue me.

2) What this Blog Contains: This blog contains researched articles on trauma. This blog contains reviews and comments. This blog contains personal musings. This blog contains humor and sarcasm. This blog contains Dirty Words. I use Topic Area Categories to tag articles. This blog is not intended to hurt anyone, but if you feel the contents listed here may not be suitable for any part of you, you are advised to Move Along. If you feel anything completely inappropriate has occurred, send me an email at emilylonelygirl (at) gmail.com. Reasonable requests will be considered.

2a) Use of Bang Splats: Some forums and blogs request that users use punctuation to soften certain words. I do not like this nomenclature, as I (personally) think it draws attention to the fact that a potentially triggering word is coming. Worse instead of better. I DO however, leave out the occasional letter for my own sense of decorum and to prevent getting slapped with the “mature” label.

Here’s what you will find: shit, ass, bastard, sex, rape, fck, GMAFB. And for completeness, Shit Piss Fck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfcker Tits. (Although I will spell out Cunt, I don’t like the word and won’t use it.) Tits, though, is simply a delightful word!

If ANY of this will trigger you, Move Along.

And for the particularly squeamish (or the super nerds among us), we can perhaps go round Full Circle and communicate COMPLETELY with punctuation, as with the classic poem, Waka Waka Bang Splat. (Simply must be spoken aloud. Subtitles provided.)

3) Recognized Consequences of My Blog: There are posts which may induce flames. They may piss people off. Sometimes I place flame warnings, but you must recognize that life has controversy, life has sarcasm, life has opinion, and almost nothing in life is benign enough to be accepted by all.

Deal with it. Or Move Along.

4) Consequences of Flaming on Me on My Blog for Dummies. Should you decide, after reading this, to flame anyway, understand the following:

I reserve the right to reject any comment based on nothing more than my own whim. I may or may not contact you. You may resubmit. If your flame is submitted with an invalid email address, I reserve the right to ban you from further commenting or from the site. (Note: I only check email addresses for is a reason – don’t put one if you are rational and would like to remain anonymous.)

I reserve the right to use your comment as I see fit. <heh> Your submission of said comment constitutes your acceptance that it may be publicly posted, commented upon, referenced, and cast into completely new posts. Most likely with healthy doses of the same sarcasm that pissed you off in the first place. I will retain all comments in their unedited form in case litigation is required. No other warranty expressed or implied.

You know that whole “heat and the kitchen” thing. So, Move Along.

4a) Consequences of Flaming Me on OTHER Websites for Dummies: If you inappropriately flame or in any way defame me on any internet website, forum, blog, etc., I reserve the right to register and reply on the same forum in order to rebut (within Netiquette guidelines), and/or take all legal action to have your inflammatory material removed. I have already successfully shut down two websites for plagiarism, and successfully had inflammatory libelous material about me removed from a private (registration-required) forum. Don’t tempt me.

I retain other rights not listed here.

And, more humorously stated, in the immortal words of Echo, which I love with delight,

Flames will be used to light the ritual fire and roast marshmallows.

5) Your decision to read this blog is your acceptance of the contents of this disclaimer. Do not take the absence of this disclaimer on any post to indicate that you might not be offended. This disclaimer applies to all material on this blog, indicated explicitly or not.

So just assume that at some point, you will probably get a little (or a lot) offended.

If this pre-offends you, Move Along.

</standard disclaimer>

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