Elysium’s Therapy Frustrations Part 1

Elysium3000 left a comment elsewhere on the blog about her frustrations getting a diagnosis, therapist’s opinions/beliefs about dissociative disorders, and the fear of being outed. Since her fears are so common and I’ve written on some of this before, let’s try and work through these issues again. Since my feelings and subsequent research got a little long, I’m splitting this into a few posts.
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Healing: It’s not a Sprint, it’s a Marathon. And That’s a Good Thing.

When I do cardio at the gym, I listen to my iPod. Traditionally I’ve chosen fast-paced upbeat songs, but I’ve broadened my playlist to explore new motivations because like may of you, I’m facing significant challenges right now.  Job search, the economy, my therapy, etc.  Averaging it all together, I’m doing okay.  My healing is amazing, and my therapist hammers me to be proud of myself.  Smile.

So when I heard this lyric the other day, it made me feel a little more real.   That I truly am learning pace and control.

But the race is not, for the swift
But who really can, take control of it †

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Tragedy, Comedy, Multiplicity, Reality

I searched for quotes on humor as intellectual perspective and found the following:

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
– Horace Walpole

To wit,

And for those who “those” include these among many, the world is both a whirling cacophony of enmeshing realities and the absence of connected existence.
– Camigwen

Teaser for an Upcoming Guest Post by My Husband!

An amazing thing happened tonight!

The other day, Elysium3006 commented on a post I made last May called, Should I Tell My Spouse I  Have DID? But today I told Elysium3006 that my response has changed – it all depends on timing and communication.  Back then my response was a resounding NO!  But today my response is different – my husband knows mostly everything and he is so accepting and a pillar of my support system.  He read my response to Elysium3006, and even added a few lines of his own feelings.

He had good thoughts so I said, somewhat flippantly, “You should write a post about what it’s like to be a spouse of someone with DID and what it was like to go through the hard times .  When you didn’t know what was happening with me, and I didn’t tell you even that I had started therapy.  And how I eventually was able to share, and how we finally started talking so positively for both of us! And then finally stepping back from the very real specter of divorce.

To my elated amazement, he said, “Ok – start dictating.”  And I did.

I told him that his thoughts on when and how much to share with a significant other and family would be SO APPRECIATED by those of us who are afraid to talk, and for those who are support persons.

What an amazing husband I have!  If you’ve followed my healing, you will realize the complete turnaround in our relationship.  And you will hear how a man who never believed in therapy tells me to keep going as long as I need to.  Stay tuned!

Another Little Update

Hi folks – a little update.  Thank you all for checking in on me.  Still job search which has become a full time job. And quite frankly, to effectively perform a job search requires some strong dissociation of emotions in the face of the econony and the repeated, “We really like you and feel you would be a significant contributor, but this position has been put on hold for changing business needs.”

“Changing business needs.”

<story of my fcking life right about now>

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My 100th Post: Trends of DID and MPD

I tripped across a neat Google tool called “Trends.”  It allows tracking of search phrases over time, and you can compare phrases as well.  Here’s an illustrive example, “Chrstmas.”

Vertical bars are the start of each year.  Kinda neat, eh?  Whaddya see?  Hmmm, massive peaks right around December 25th?

christmas-trends

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Happy New Year to my Friends

Hello everyone

I wanted to wish everyone  Happy New Year, and hope that everyone is doing well!

Thank you for your wishes and checking up on me.  I have dropped off for a while.  Not because of you.  You know I have been looking for a job.  There are also other things in my life that are taking over my time.

I did tell you I found a wonderful therapist, so things are going really well on that front, so no need to wonder if I am off jumping off a bridge.  🙂  Overall, I am ok. Actually, doing well based on this economy in the US.

One thing that has helped me in my forced dissociation in all this, is that my therapist has made a good point.  Inside, there is not great dissension.  That by itself makes all of this a little easier.  When we get through all of this, life should return to normal.

Best wishes to everyone,

Camigwen