Archive for revelations

Healing: It’s not a Sprint, it’s a Marathon. And That’s a Good Thing.

When I do cardio at the gym, I listen to my iPod. Traditionally I’ve chosen fast-paced upbeat songs, but I’ve broadened my playlist to explore new motivations because like may of you, I’m facing significant challenges right now.  Job search, the economy, my therapy, etc.  Averaging it all together, I’m doing okay.  My healing is amazing, and my therapist hammers me to be proud of myself.  Smile.

So when I heard this lyric the other day, it made me feel a little more real.   That I truly am learning pace and control.

But the race is not, for the swift
But who really can, take control of it †

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Teaser for an Upcoming Guest Post by My Husband!

An amazing thing happened tonight!

The other day, Elysium3006 commented on a post I made last May called, Should I Tell My Spouse I  Have DID? But today I told Elysium3006 that my response has changed – it all depends on timing and communication.  Back then my response was a resounding NO!  But today my response is different – my husband knows mostly everything and he is so accepting and a pillar of my support system.  He read my response to Elysium3006, and even added a few lines of his own feelings.

He had good thoughts so I said, somewhat flippantly, “You should write a post about what it’s like to be a spouse of someone with DID and what it was like to go through the hard times .  When you didn’t know what was happening with me, and I didn’t tell you even that I had started therapy.  And how I eventually was able to share, and how we finally started talking so positively for both of us! And then finally stepping back from the very real specter of divorce.

To my elated amazement, he said, “Ok – start dictating.”  And I did.

I told him that his thoughts on when and how much to share with a significant other and family would be SO APPRECIATED by those of us who are afraid to talk, and for those who are support persons.

What an amazing husband I have!  If you’ve followed my healing, you will realize the complete turnaround in our relationship.  And you will hear how a man who never believed in therapy tells me to keep going as long as I need to.  Stay tuned!

Therapy: It’s All Part of “The Process”

It’s all “Part of the Process.”

I was completely unfamiliar with that phrase until therapist #1. After 6 months with her, I was thoroughly disgusted with the phrase. Perhaps because no one could define “The Process” in terms I could accept. This magical concept that I, a PhD trained engineer, was apparently completely ill-equipped to deal with.

<And friends and neighbors, let’s throw in the completely obligatory ” fck that” right about HERE.>

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The Percent Theory of Fragmentation and Integration – Anna’s Experiences

Last week my good friend Anna sent me a fantastic email – “Omigod my life has changed… three and a half weeks ago I just kinda… integrated. Spontaneously, and it held!”
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Calling All Clients and Therapists – BTC Survey Results Pt 1!

I have read several surveys that have enlightened me, made me laugh, given me pause, and comforted me that we all share so many common elements in our quest for wellness.

Our experiences with therapists or counselors has been a big source of conversation lately.

Behind the Couch took a survey about this. She hopes that “other clients ….will appreciate reading about [our] experiences

She also hopes that “therapists will read this and take something … they can use to better meet their clients’ needs.

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Comment: Importance of Physical Environment in Therapy

I read a post called The importance of the physical environment to client comfort by Behind the Couch. She reflects on the oft-stated “requirement” that physical comfort and safety are a first priority in therapy. Considering therapy within the realm of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we strive to make our homes safe and comfortable. “So,” she asks, “why should this be any different in the therapist’s room?”

Her post and the many great responses made me consider the unconscious discomfort I felt as well – one unusual item in particular.

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Review: Yes “The Ancients” and the Selves Who Wait for Me

I wrote an essay on switching last year. It ended with the realization that, as always, I/Cami am the last to know anything. That my inability to make a decision is based on more than my thoughts. That *I* was the last to know that I am not alone in here.

Then I heard my life in song and saw it in video.

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